No! Was My First Response
Thank God I changed my mind.
Disclaimer: To my subscribers. I have been MIA. Life doing what life does. I’ve needed to pause, reflect and decide how this space can serve me and you. I hope this latest installment adds something to your day.
I said, “no”. I had just finished teaching my customary summer load, Summer I-Five Weeks and the rest of the summer was mine. My mind was focused on completing my house, more specifically unpacking my home office.
Not that my house will ever really be completed, but I needed to unpack my office. It has been around eighteen months since I purchased my new home, and my home office was dubbing as a storage closet.
The idea of teaching another course until the fall semester was the farthest thing from my mind and an interruption to my plans. It was time unpack my home office, enjoy staycation around town and rest.
Nonetheless, I consulted with my community to determine if I really had the bandwidth to teach another course, a new course at that when begged to help out, again. Most of them co-signed and I said, “yes”. One, sided with me, “no”.
Sometimes, we say yes and wished we had stuck with our initial feelings to say no. Further investigation through my community gave me the strength to bypass my feelings and opt to try something new. And new course meant I had a learning curve to overcome too.
I went with the consensus. My colleagues who teach the course jumped in with advise, textbook and handouts. My “yes” yielded such an extraordinary experience. I got to meet this wonderful group of young people at a summer bridge program for incoming freshmen.
Often times saying “yes” can be a blessing in disguised.
I had to fight myself to override the feelings that teaching a summer bridge class would steal time from me to complete my heart’s desires. The rest of my summer was planned out. (More on my staycation later)
I sat in self-reflection. I mapped out the time commitment, nineteen days, three hours and ten minutes a day plus days for grading. I could not forget that grading was going to be a big part of what I HAD to DO, and my least favorite thing to do because of the time it takes me to give quality/instructive feedback.
First day, I went ready for the teaching assignment and opened to its yields or disappointments.
Oh, how the dividends showed up immediately, fifteen new minds to shape. My colleagues told me that it would not be difficult because these students, who are in need of developmental courses, are more equipped than I might think.
They were right!
Although there were twenty-five students on the roster, fifteen showed up the second day of class. The first day, I started with one student. She walked out the class after I explained to her I was teaching the bottom tier of a developmental sequence of reading/English courses.
She said, “I’m not dumb!” She repeated it three times, “I’m not dumb!” I’m not dumb!” I explained to her that developmental reading/English does not mean “you’re dumb,” but may need some extra help before taking a college credit course. She said, “I’m a good writer and I don’t know why I’m in this class.” I directed her where to go to see if she could take the placement test to score higher to advance either out of the bottom or English 101. She left.
I had just enough students to give my attention to and help them put forth the effort to excel. They are teenagers, one student is twenty-year old. They are eager with inquisitive minds. I appreciate their diverse personalities too.
I am sensing them all and my heart is leaping with joy. Joy can be found in the strangest of place. This summer it has been in a developmental course of students ready to advance to the next tier.
I am learning to lead with my community advice instead of my emotions being my captain. This seemingly small yes taught me how much my feelings lead me.
My community, which includes my son, are the people I trust to advise me. This includes my colleagues and this guy I’m dating, who vehemently chimed in, “don’t you need a new computer?” I’m a writer. I guess I need a new computer.
Although I fought myself believing that teaching this course would not leave me enough time to complete my home project, tour the city and rest, I have been energized by spending time with these young people.
I am not just teaching them; I am spending time with them and that has filled my heart UP.
Of course, I enjoy teaching, but sometimes I absolutely don’t want to teach another class. Teaching is a giving occupation. It’s challenging to do well without giving of yourself in some manner. And for me, I give big.
My earlier class this summer, one students said that when I’m not in class they talk about me. She said that you are a great teacher, but really comes shining through, “you are a mother first and we feel that!”
This class though feels less like giving and more like an exchange. I appreciate how they are giving back in ways I hadn’t ever experienced, presence!
This is my first time teaching a developmental course. I teach on credit side of Academic Affairs. I have desired to teach one of those developmental courses to see why students still came to a credit level English 101 ill-equipped. I know now!
They do not realize how much they are giving to me as well. Their smiles, enthusiasm and questions are fuel to my soul. The added bonus is when I get home, I feel energized to continue unpacking my home office and rest. I have another staycation planned in the next few weeks (more on that later).
